


When Karaoke Goes All To Hell

by Archangelsanonymous (Pattypixie)



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Blood and Gore, Demons, Eldritch, Gen, Guardian Angels, Hell portals, Karaoke, Major Original Character(s), Original Character Death(s), R2M - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 16:52:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11650761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pattypixie/pseuds/Archangelsanonymous
Summary: A hell portal opens during Karaoke. Talk about bad timing!*Prompted on Facebook by a picture in a Richard fan group*





	When Karaoke Goes All To Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who let me turn them into characters and most likely killed them. If I've told you that you are in here, and you can't find yourself, I will direct you to it :P
> 
> Enjoy!

 “Ready?” Matt asked, adjusting Richard’s top hat once more as the crowd cheered on the other side of the curtain.

Richard smirked and looked up at Matt’s newest costume, a giraffe. “Are you? Did you even try on that costume before five minutes ago?”

“I decline to comment,” Matt avoided, struggling to keep the giraffe head seated on top of his own. “I’ll just get something else for next time.”

“Haven’t heard that one before,” Rich rolled his eyes and turned toward the stairs that lead to the stage. He took a deep breath and let it out. After all this time, he still got a little anxious stepping out on stage, but a little bit of nerves were a good thing. At least that’s what he’d always been told. With a quick look back at Matt, who gave him a thumbs up, Rich ascended the stairs and stepped out on stage to a swell of cheers.

“Hello, Chicago!” Rich boomed through his mic. “Welcome to the best goddamn night of this weekend!” The cheering increased and he grinned, looking out at where he assumed the audience was. Honestly, the lights were so bright that he couldn’t see a thing. He could only make out a few faces in the front, and he pointed at the couple he did recognize. “Now, please welcome my co-host—the handsome karaoke king—Matthew! Cohen!” Rich stepped to the side and held out his arm toward the curtain as Matt came out from behind it.

“Chicago, make some noise!” Matt shouted, cupping his hand over his ear. The crowd roared once more and he handed his mic off to Rich so that he could high-five a few of the people in the front row. When he was done, he skipped over to Rich to grab his mic back. “Wooo! I like this crowd! This is a great crowd, Rich. I’m really feeling it.”

“I hope you’re also feeling that costume because I’m not going shopping for another one with you next time,” Rich retorted, causing the crowd to laugh. Matt and Rich exchanged some of their usual banter until they felt it was time to introduce their unofficial third host.

“I give you God himself,” Matt announced. “Rob Benedict!” He motioned toward the curtain and Rob emerged, wearing his striped vest, untied, and jeans.

“Wow, really phoning it in today with that costume, huh Robbie?” Rich teased.

“At least I’m consistent,” Rob grinned, giving Matt a pointed look. The crowd laughed and Matt feigned being wounded.

“Rob!” Matt gasped. “I expected this from Rich, but not you!”

Rob shrugged and noticed that the DJ had put up the first karaoke song. “Hey, we have to get started! Kris, Lindsey, and Rachel, get up here!”

Rich held his hand up to shield his eyes as he looked out into the crowd to see if someone was on their way to the stage. He saw a little bit of shuffling near the middle of the crowd, but it was the back of the ballroom that was grabbing his attention. There was no way that…His eyes were obviously playing tricks on him, but he needed confirmation. Quickly, he walked over to Rob and grabbed his arm, pulling him to the side.

“Hey, what’s up?” Rob asked, holding the mic away so that they wouldn’t be heard.

“Look at the back of the room,” Rich instructed. “Please tell me that I just ate some bad fish and am not seeing what I think I’m seeing.”

“What?” Rob lifted his head, confused, but looked out. “You didn’t even have fish toda—“ His sentence stopped short and Rich noticed his best friend going stiff.

“Act natural!” Rich hissed. “Just go help the girls sing and I’ll tell Matt.”

“Is that what I think it is?” Rob whispered, obviously terrified. “Chris said that it was over.”

Rich placed a hand on Rob’s shoulder and sighed. “Apparently not.” He walked across the stage, attempting to bop along with the pop song that he still hadn’t learned the words to, even though someone had sang it at every Karaoke this year. Before going up to Matt, he made a quick run past the stage, holding out the mic and mouthing along to what he assumed were the words. It was better this way, if no one knew. There was no reason to cause panic when what was happening was inevitable. Panic was unavoidable. After interacting with the crowd a bit, he sidled up to Matt and pulled him aside.

“Back of the room,” Rich mentioned. “Don’t react.”

Matt looked up and Rich could hear his breath catch. “It’s getting big.”

“I know,” Rich closed his eyes and gripped the mic tight. “Can you see what’s coming out? We should know what we’re dealing with.”

“I’ll check,” Matt nodded and noticed that the song had hit an instrumental break. Perfect. He ran down the stairs of the stage and ran through the barrier that separated the crowd and the stage. Under the pretense of trying to catch the eye of some fans that were further back in the crowd, he got up on his tiptoes and shielded his eyes from the light. Faking his grin and waving a few times allowed him to take a peek at the events unfolding. It was what they had all feared. Hell had found them and opened a gate at the single place that they thought they’d be safest. If there was anything lucky about this situation, it was that they had only sent demons. Demons were easy. It was the other shit that took some serious skill. Matt jumped to the beat a few more times, then ran back onstage as the song finished.

Rob left Rich to guide the singers off the stage and caught Matt as he returned. “So? How does it look?”

“Demons,” Matt panted as Rich called up the next singers, Meg, Sara, and Rach. “I don’t think we have long before—“

A blood-curdling scream rang out from the back of the crowd and the entire room fell silent. The unmistakable sound of bones breaking and flesh tearing came from the same area. Rich jumped down from the stage while the rest of the room was in shock and found a few fans he recognized.

“Rich!” A redhead, sporting a sexy lion tamer outfit, hissed. “What’s going on?”

“Patty, do you have Lance with you?” Rich asked, frantically.

“Yeah, he and Amanda are right here,” Patty stepped aside and guided a blonde boy toward Rich. “What’s wrong?”

Rich held out his hand. “Just come with me. We should be safer on the stage.” He looked over to see Matt and Rob talking to a few fans as well. Good. Maybe some of them would get out. Once he felt Patty’s hand in his, he held it tight and pulled them along, thinking a silent prayer for the ones that had to be left behind. The screams and sounds of limbs being disarticulated grew to a fever pitch as Rich pulled his small group of fans up on stage. Matt was hoisting his group up onto the stage, practically throwing them, and Rob had managed to get his up the stairs. Rich ran over and held out a hand for Matt, once he was finished lifting his fans, and helped him back on the stage.

“Richard,” Patty demanded, trying to catch their breath. “What in the actual fuck is happening? Is this a bit? Are people actually dying?”

“Listen,” Rich turned and grabbed their shoulders. “I’ll explain everything as soon as I can. Just trust us, okay? Can you do that?”

Patty’s eyes scanned Rich’s face and noticed how scared he was. They nodded. “Yeah, of course. Just tell me what to do.”

     Rich’s features relaxed in relief and he nodded as well. “Good. For now, we need anything with iron. Preferably pure. Maybe some rosaries or crosses, too.”

     “Wait,” Patty narrowed their gaze. “Is this…You’re saying…”

     “Explaining later,” Rich reminded them, letting their shoulders go. “You got this.” He turned away and went over to Rob, who was trying to calm down an extremely freaked out Scout.

     “It—It’s okay,” Rob rubbed her arm. “Everything will be fine. It’s just like the show, yeah?”

     “The show is terrifying, Robert!” Scout snapped. “People die! A lot!”

     “Oh, shit,” Rich rubbed the bridge of his nose. “You told her, didn’t you?”

     “Oy,” A tall redhead walked over and turned Scout around. “Yeah. Demons are real. People are gonna die. Shit happens. Let’s get our asses out of here before we end up dead. Sound solid?” Scout nodded and started to calm down a bit. “Good. Check on that girl over there.” The ginger pointed to a brunette that was practically catatonic. She patted Scout on the back as she walked away, then turned to Rob and held out her hand. “Jen. Big fan.”

     “Are you related to Patty?” Rich asked, as Rob grabbed her hand to shake.

     Jen rolled her eyes. “For the 3 rd time today, no.”

     “Thanks for that,” Rob flashed a relieved grin. “Can you handle the rest?”

     “Yeah,” Jen nodded. “Just maybe figure out a game plan soon?” She pointed at the crowd and the two men turned to see what was happening. The room was going insane, and it looked like they were really close to rushing the stage. It seemed like a few of the demons had found vessels and were simply throwing people out of the way to get to the stage.

     “Uh, that’s not good,” Rich stated.

     “Do you  _ think _ ?” Rob spat.

     “Maybe Chris is back already,” Rich took out his phone and frowned when he saw that he had no service. “Should have expected.” He shoved his phone back in his pocket and looked back at Rob. “We have to make it to him somehow.”

     “How?” Rob held out his hands. “We have no weapons.”

     Rich walked past Rob, over to Matt, the head of his costume pulled down. His group seemed pretty well contained; a tall girl with rainbow colored hair was keeping things under control. “We have to get to Chris.”

     Matt nodded. “I’ve been asking for anything that we could use but I’ve got nothing. Fans are a really atheist bunch.”

     “Yeah, well maybe not so much anymore,” Rob worried his bottom lip with his teeth.

     “Have either of you checked with anyone in back?” Matt asked.

     Rob’s eyes widened. “Oh, no.” He rushed to the curtain and threw it back. The scene before him caused him to cover his mouth in an attempt to avoid vomiting. Their handlers were nowhere to be found. Alaina was impaled through the stomach with a mic stand, still gasping in a vain attempt to stay alive. Jason was strung up like a puppet from his guitar strings, the one against his neck working through to decapitate him. Gil was laying belly up on a catering table, tongue lolling out of his mouth, as Brianna plunged her hand through his belly and ripped his intestines out. Kim was at another table, ripping out Osric’s throat with her teeth. Rob couldn’t hold back a small whimper at the sight, and the noise caused the two ladies—demons now—to turn toward him, eyes pitch black and blood dripping from their hands and mouth. Kim spit out Osric’s esophagus and snarled at him while Briana’s face contorted into a disturbing grin.

     “Ooo, look, Berith,” Briana licked her lips. “It’s our favorite meat suit.”

     “Asmo,” Rob shook. “Berith. Ni-Nice to see you again.”

     “Where’s Richard?” Briana walked toward Rob, swaying her hips. “I got a present for him.”

     Rob took a step back, slipping a little as he tried to go back up the stairs. “He-he’s not interested. You know that from last time.”

     Briana pursed her lips and frowned. “Can’t blame a girl for trying.” She winked. “Since I know you don’t have any weapons, I think we’ll be nice and give you boys a head start.” She wrapped a finger around a strand of her hair and cocked her head. “Can’t say the same for the B-team out there, though.”

     Rob’s eyes widened as he heard a scream that seemed to come from on the stage. He turned and ran back out as Briana threw her head back and laughed.

     “Lilly!” Rob heard a voice cry out from where Rich’s group was. Rich and a redhead he recognized were holding back the rest of the group from the edge of the stage. He looked over and saw a ginger woman dressed in a lion outfit, ripping apart who he assumed was Lilly. Her eyes were gouged out and her face seemed to be contorted into a permanent scream. Rob turned away once he saw her arm being torn from its socket.

     “She’s gone!” The redhead yelled. “Guys, we can’t help her. We have to save ourselves.”

     Rob chanced a glance at Rich and he looked back, helpless. They had to get out of there. They had to find Chris.

     “We have to get out of here!” Matt yelled, attempting to hold his group close as the stage started to shake. “There!” He pointed to a door that lead to the kitchens and seemed to have the clearest path. “That’s our best bet!”

     Rob nodded and went over to his group. “Jen! I need you to follow Matt. We’re going through the kitchens so we may be able to get some weapons there. I’ll be right behind you.” Jen nodded and turned to the rest of the group. Scout seemed to be doing better, but there was a young, bushy haired girl that couldn’t stop sobbing. The brunette that had been catatonic earlier seemed to be alright and was comforting a person with multicolored hair and glasses. He had faith that they’d be alright. Quickly, he turned back to Rich’s group and hurried over.

     “Matt has a plan?” Rich asked, holding a sobbing woman who Rob was sure was the mother of the young boy in the group.

     “The kitchens,” Rob explained. “There’s a mostly clear path and we can pick up some weapons to hold us over until we make it to Chris.”

     Rich nodded and turned to the redhead. “You hear that, Patty?”

     “Got it,” Patty confirmed, turning to talk to the young boy, who still seemed unsure how to process everything. A couple brunettes, one in regular clothes and the other dressed like a gypsy, helped the boy onto Patty’s back and they looked up at Rob. “Let’s go.” The small group hurried to catch up with Matt and Rob’s group. As they attempted to run by, a girl with dark hair and glasses from the crowd reached out, grabbing the arm of the person Rob noticed earlier with the short, vibrant hair.

     “CJ!” One of the brunette’s from Rich’s group cried, grabbing CJ’s other arm and attempting to pull them free.

     “Let go!” CJ ordered. “Susan, let go! Get to Chris!” Susan let go of CJ reluctantly. “Tell—“ Their words were cut off with a scream.

     “I will!” Susan sniffed as she backed away and watched CJ get pulled into the crowd.

     “Come on,” The other brunette said, grabbing Susan’s hand and saving her from the bloody mess that had once been their friend. “We have to go.” She looked up toward the door and noticed that they everyone was almost through. Susan nodded and ran with the other girl to the door. Once they made it inside, Matt shut the door and pushed against it with all this strength.

     “We need to barricade this!” Matt shouted. “They’ll try coming through any minute!”

     Rich looked around and noticed a bunch of room service carts. “Someone help me with these!” He rushed over to the carts and started to pull them out toward the door. “Put them on their side so they don’t roll!” A few people went over and started rolling the carts and a couple by Matt started to flip them. Matt stepped away so they could start to stack them up, and Rob stepped up next to him.

     “That’s not going to help much,” Rob worried.

     “It’s better than nothing,” Matt replied. “If anything, it will slow them down. We need to keep moving, though.”

     Rob ran a hand through his hair. “These people are scared, Matt. We need to explain to them what’s going on.”

     “We can do it when we get to Chris,” Matt decided. “But you’re right. They deserve to know.”

     “Hey, Matt.” He turned to see a short person with a buzz cut and big glasses holding up a bunch of knives. “Think these will help?”

     “Well, it’s not ideal, but they’ll better our chances,” Matt smiled and grabbed a few of the knives. “Didn’t catch your name.”

     “Julia,” they shrugged. “Or Jules. Whatever.”

     “Alright, Jules,” Matt stepped to the side. “Hand them out to whoever seems stable.” They nodded and walked off, handing out the utensils. The sounds of carts stopped and Rich walked over, panting.

     “That’s as good as it’s gonna get,” Rich declared. “Does anyone remember how to get to the op room from here?”

     “I just got here, so I have no idea,” Matt shrugged. He looked over at Rob, who had his eyes squeezed shut, trying to remember.

     “Um, actually…” The small, gypsy girl from Rich’s group stepped forward. “It’s super weird and specific but I have this kinda thing where I walk a building and can recall the full layout from memory forever. I couldn’t sleep Thursday night so I explored the hotel a bit.” She smiled nervously. “I think I can get us to the op room.”

     “Awesome,” Rob grinned and gave her a hug before stepping to the side and holding his arm out. “Lead the way…um?”

     “Eden.”

     “Great name,” Rob commented as Eden stepped forward and started to lead the group through the utility hallways and kitchens.

     “How did you get back here?” Rich asked, catching up with her. “This is supposed to be staff only.”

     Eden blushed. “I just grabbed a tray and walked back here. If you walk with a purpose, no one really questions where you’re going.”

     “I love her for more than just her looks,” Patty said, grinning. She was still carrying Lance on her back and appeared to be struggling.

     “Hey,” Rich stepped to the side and pulled Patty with him. “I’ll take him, if you’re getting tired.”

     “You sure?” Patty raised an eyebrow.

     Rich looked to Lance and smiled. “How about I give you a ride, bud?”

     “I think I’d like that,” Lance grinned. “Is that okay, Patty?”

     “Totally okay, my dude,” Patty sighed, and set him down in relief. Rich squatted down and Patty helped Lance onto his back. When they rejoined the group, they were bringing up the back with Lance’s mom, Amanda, and an artist that Patty had pointed out earlier as Misty, the girl that made some of his favorite custom funkos.

     “So…” Patty started. “It’s later. Time to explain.”

      “In front of him?” Rich raised an eyebrow.

      “Lance can handle it,” Amanda assured him. “What’s going on?”

     Rich sighed. “So, it didn’t really start then, but we became aware of what was happening when Rob had his stroke. Our lives had been demon and hell-free, apart from the cons and Supernatural, which is still all fake. No worries about that. I guess that Hell decided that Rob’s stroke was the perfect time to ambush us, since he was at his weakest. Honestly, nothing could have prepared us and if Chris wasn’t there, there’s no way we would be here now.”

     “Chris?” Misty inquired. “No one ever mentioned he was at the hospital.”

     “He didn’t want us to tell anyone,” Rich explained. “He was there, though. Fighting off demons and all the other hell-spawn that was being thrown at us.”

     “So, why are they after you?” Amanda asked.

     Rich chuckled. “It’s all very season five. Chris explained it once we were safe. Rob is Lucifer’s true vessel. I’m Beelzebub’s and Matt is Astaroth’s. There are four main groupies in hell that have been leading the hunt for us. Belial, Baal, Berith, and,” he grimaced. “Asmodeus.”

     “You and Asmo got a thing?” Misty guessed, smirking.

     “He has a habit of possessing people I find attractive and trying to seduce me with them,” Rich frowned. “Even went so far as to use my wife against me once. Luckily, she doesn’t remember.

     “As for the rest,” Rich continued, “Berith is Asmo’s attack dog. He’ll do anything Asmo says. We call Belial and Baal the ‘B-team’ since they’re basically rabid and kill whatever gets in their way.”

     “How did Chris know?” Patty wondered.

     “I think I’ll let him tell you,” Rich smirked. A loud crash came from behind them and the small group of four stopped and turned.

     “They must have gotten through,” Amanda breathed.

     “I’ll let everyone know we need to move faster,” Patty said, moving upward through the group.

     Amanda turned to Rich. “You need to take Lance and go.”

     “No way,” Rich declared. “You’re getting out of here.”

     “I’m not,” Amanda shook her head. “And if it helps get him out, it’s worth it.”

     “I’ll stay too,” Misty stepped forward. “I’ve had a good life, and I think I could take down a few of these bad boys.”

     “Lance,” Amanda reached up and grabbed her boy’s hand. “I have to stay behind, okay?”

     Lance’s brow furrowed. “No, you have to come with.”

     Amanda smiled sadly. “Baby, I love you, but I have to stay. Be nice to Richard and Jen and Patty and Eden, okay? Can you do that?”

     “No!” Lance’s eyes started to tear up. “You can’t!” He started to struggle on Rich’s back, but he held him still.

     “Uh, Amanda, we got company,” Misty held up a couple of cleavers that Jules had given her earlier. Amanda turned to see a cloud of black coming towards them, hands and teeth coming out of the fog and clawing at the walls. Briana, Kim, and two other girls walked in front of the crowd, grinning viciously.

     “You and your friends need to get better at hide and seek,” Briana called out.

     “Go!” Amanda cried, pushing Rich’s chest as tears streamed down her cheeks. “I don’t want him to see what happens! I won’t let that be his last memory! Get out of here!”

     Rich nodded solemnly and held onto Lance tightly as he turned and ran down the hall to catch up with the group. He tried to ignore the cries coming from behind him, providing a background to Lance’s screams, but it tore at his heart. It was hard to imagine his boys having to live without Jaci. When Rich caught up with the group, he set Lance down and only silence came from the end of the hall.

     “Lance!” Amanda’s voice came from down the hall. “Lance, you can come back! It’s okay now!”

     “Let me go! My mom is down there!” Lance shouted as Rich held the boy tight amidst all the struggling.

     “It’s not her,” Rich explained. “That’s a demon using your mom’s voice to trick you.”

     “Lance, honey,” Amanda’s voice continued. “Misty and I killed all the demons! I just had to pretend I was Zelda!”

      Lance’s face quickly went from hopeful to enraged. “You’re not her!”

     “Of course I am,” Amanda insisted. “Now, get back down here!”

     “Mom knows that Zelda isn’t the main character!” Lance retorted. “You’re not my mom!”

     A roar came from the hallway and reverberated through the walls. “Smart ass little kid! When I get my hands on you, I’m gonna rip your heart out through your THROAT!”

     “Move!” Rich yelled, scooping Lance up and causing the entire group to run.

     “Just a bit more!” Eden shouted from the head of the crowd. “There!” She pointed, and Matt threw the door open. The brightness of the op room seemed practically divine as everyone filed in. Chris had been adjusting a reflector, but abandoned the task once he noticed the panic coming from everyone.

     “Quick, shut the door,” Chris ordered, once everyone was inside. Susan was the last one in and held the door while Chris laid his palm on it. A purple light emanated from the point of contact between wood and flesh, causing engraved sigils to appear. Once the light faded, Chris removed his hand and sighed.

     “You can let go now,” Chris instructed, smiling at Susan. She blinked a few times and let go of the handle, still a bit in shock.

     “It’s happening again,” Rob explained, walking up to Chris. “They’re back.”

     “It was only a matter of time,” Chris nodded, walking over to one of the large, black cases that he carried photography equipment in.

     “You said they were gone!” Rob argued. “I thought this was over!”

     “You’re right,” Chris agreed, kneeling down. “I said they were gone, but I didn’t say they weren’t going to come back.” He popped open the case and reviled a cache of various iron weapons, some engraved with sigils like the ones on the door, and others glowing the faint purple that had emanated out of his palm. “The important thing is that now we’re prepared.” He pulled out a clear crystal and stood up. “Everyone grab a weapon. I need to make a call.” The crystal started to glow blue as he walked out a door to a safe, adjacent room.

     The group’s gaze was divided, half staring at the door and half staring at the case. Matt took a look at the people that they had assembled. If he had to place his odds on them, it wouldn’t be good. The realization dawned on him. Most of these people were probably going to die and he didn’t even know their names.

     “Hey, everyone,” Matt addressed. “Can we do a quick…” he gestured in a circle. “You know, meet and greet type thing? Name, where you’re from, and what you do. Rich, can you hand out weapons?” Rich nodded and grabbed up an armful of what was in the case, and started handing them out one by one.

     Rob smiled. “Yeah. Let’s do that. Get into a circle, everyone.” The group quickly formed into a circle on the floor and sat down. “You first.” He pointed to the bushy-haired girl next to him that he was pretty sure hadn’t stopped crying since she had been saved.

     “B-B-Brianna,” she managed to get out, bottom lip quivering. “I’m from Fl-Florida and I’m still in hi-hi-high school.”

     “Alright, Brianna,” Rob wrapped an arm around her shoulder and rubbed her upper arm. “You’re doing great, okay? We’re gonna get out of this.” She nodded and brought her knees up to her chest. “Keep it going.” He nodded toward the next person in the circle.

    “Uh, I’m Jen,” a tall redhead shrugged. “I’m from Washington state and I’m the manager of a Papa Johns.” She looked down at the small boy in her lap. “Your turn, bud.”

     The boy sighed and raised his head. “Do I have to?” Jen nodded and he frowned. “I’m Lance and I’m from Illinois.” When he was done, he laid his head back down on Jen’s chest.

     “Perfect,” Jen comforted, flattening Lance’s hair against his head. She looked to the woman next to her and nodded.

     “I’m Kelly,” a brunette with glasses gave a short wave. “I’m from near Vancouver and apart from work with We Got Dick, I’m a freelance artist.”

     “You’re the artist!” Rich exclaimed, pointing a glowing mace at Kelly. “Patty keeps mentioning her artist partner and I never knew!” He realized what he was holding and retracted his arm.

     “Yeah,” Kelly bit her bottom lip. “Not the social type and it’s hard for me to get to cons…probably harder now.”

     “Well, I’ll probably keep going, assuming they don’t shut it down,” Patty smiled next to her. “A little hell spawn can’t keep me away.”

     “You’re insane,” the brunette clinging to them said.

     “You like me that way,” Patty grinned. “I’m Patty and this is Eden. We’re from Wisconsin and both work at a casino. I’m a promotions supervisor and she works in the vault. I also have W-G-D, obviously.”

     “I’m originally from Texas, though. Houston,” Eden amended. “They know who you are so let someone else talk.”

     “Jeez, okay,” Patty stuck out their tongue. “Susan?” They addressed the woman next to Eden.

     “Oh, uh,” Susan smiled nervously. “I’m Susan from Alabama. Currently unemployed but I sometimes work at a boy scout camp in the summer.” She held out her hand, palm up, to the woman next to her.

     “I’m Aria,” the brunette with rainbow highlights said. “I’m from Minneapolis and I’m trying to be an author.” She smiled. “This is Rose,” Aria motioned to the blonde girl next to her.

     “Hi,” Rose responded, a little meekly. “Originally from the UK, but currently in Philadelphia. I do analysis for the city’s water.”

     “You’re officially more interesting than me,” Matt commented, leaning back on his hands.

     Rose giggled. “No way, I’m not.” She looked over at the person next to her. “Who are you?”

     “I’m uh,” Jules pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and rubbed her arm. “I’m Jules. I’m living in Cleveland right now and starting up a non-profit with my friend.” She gave a shy smile at the girl next to her.

     “You know me,” Scout covered her face. “NEXT.”

     “Nope,” Rob shook his head. “You’re the last one. Introduce yourself.”

     “Fuck.” Scout took a deep breath. “I’mScoutfromIowaandIdrawandwritecomicsandshit. DONE.” She spread her fingers so she could peek out. “Can we please get on with killing things so we can go home?”

     “Yes,” Chris said, returning to the op room. “I’ve called some backup and they should be here shortly.”

     “Backup?” Rob questioned. “Who?”

     As if on cue, the door to the op room that fans would have come through busted open. Everyone stood up to see who it was and the rest of Louden Swain came barreling into the room. They were all carrying large swords that glowed an ethereal blue.

     “Oh, you are shitting me,” Scout exasperated. Patty looked at the band members, then stared at Scout with an open-mouthed grin. Jen blushed deeply and refused to look Stephen in the eye.

     “Wait,” Rich held up a finger. “Are they…?”

     “We’re angels,” Stephen smiled as they put their weapons away. “We were sent down to assist in protecting you, Matthew, and Robert after the last incident.”

     “The Swaingels are REAL?” Scout ran her hands through her hair and grabbed it. “This is insane. I’m dreaming. I have to be in a coma or something.”

     Billy cocked his head at her. “But, you knew.”

     “Ah, that’s why the last two albums have sounded so different,” Eden mused.

     Scout stared at him. “NO! It was just a joke!”

     “So, you aren’t a prophet?” Borja narrowed his eyes.

     “NO,” Scout’s breathing started to get fast and heavy. “I was just…It was a…What’s Lucky?” She started to fall and Jules attempted to catch her, but was only able to cushion her descent. Rob rushed over and started fanning her face with discarded photo paper. She started to stir and groaned.

     “So,” Patty asked, stepping over Scout’s body toward Chris. “What are you then?”

     Chris smiled softly down at Patty. “It’s hard to explain exactly what I am to the inhabitants of this dimension. I believe the closest thing you have to describe me is a Lovecraftian eldritch.”

     “You’re a tentacle monster,” Aria blurted.

     “Well, if you want to put it as plainly as that,” Chris sighed. “Yes, in my true form, I have various tentacle-like appendages.”

     “CALLED IT!” Patty raised their arms in triumph. “Fucking called that shit years ago.” They fist pumped and held their hand out for high-fives, slowly lowering it when they noticed no one would reciprocate.

     “So, wait,” Kelly jumped in. “Why are you helping out these guys? You can just pop off to another dimension if things go south.”

     Chris shrugged. “I like it here, and I like them. I’d prefer that things didn’t change. Plus, I am not skilled in taking photographs of the apocalypse. The lighting and color palate is completely off.”

     “You’re saving us because you want to keep taking pictures?” Matt asked.

     “In essence, yes,” Chris smiled. 

     “You know what,” Rich patted Chris on the back. “I’ll take it. Let’s just get the hell out of here. They’re bound to find their way around to the other doors sooner or later. Does everyone feel comfortable with their weapons?” He looked around the room and sighed at the rag-tag team of people that would probably have trouble fighting their way out of a wet paper bag. “Well, this is as good as it’s gonna get, y’all.”

     Stephen stepped up to block the door that he and the rest of the Swaingels had come through. “Okay so, we have to make it out of the op room, otherwise we’ll be sitting ducks. Billy and I will take point. Mike and Chris, you pull up the rear. We’ll get everyone out and then finish the fight. Sound good?”

     “You guys speak really informally for angels,” Jen said, suspiciously, Lance perched upon her shoulders.

      “We’ve been on earth for five years,” Billy shrugged. “We had to adapt.”

     Rob finished helping Scout up, then walked to the front of the group. “Alright so, just in case we all don’t make it out of here, I—“

     Rich walked up and clapped Rob’s shoulder. “Save the speech, Bobbo. No one wants to hear it, and from the sounds of it, we don’t have the time.”

     A loud, unearthly wail came from the open door to the op room and it seemed like it was getting closer. Stephen and Billy unsheathed their swords and held them at the ready. The rest of the group gripped their respective weapons as tight as they could, each trusting that they would be able to use them when the time came. Tentatively, the angels lead the group through the doors and out into the open hallway. The power had been cut and the only things illuminating the hotel were dim, orange auxiliary lights that had probably never been used before. The way seemed clear, the blue glow from Stephen and Billy’s swords lighting the way, and the group made their way to the closest exit. The darkness seemed to creep in on them, masking the auxiliary lights.

     “This is it,” Borja observed softly, from the back. Suddenly, a high-pitched wailing sound started and dark hands seemed to come out of the walls, grabbing at whatever they could. The group started to swing at them, the hands disintegrating upon contact. Susan stared at her mace after her first solid strike and nodded approvingly before continuing to beat the darkness back.

     A scream came from near the middle of the group and Aria called out, “Rose!” The thin, blonde’s arm was being held by several hands, pulling her into the darkness. Her axe had fallen to the ground along with Aria’s as she tried to pull Rose out of the demon’s grasp. Chris turned and held out his arm, a purple appendage extending from it, attempting to grab Rose, but being met with empty air as Aria lost her grip. The last thing that was seen of Rose was her wide eyes, before she was completely engulfed by the void.

     “NO!” Aria cried out, picking her axe back up and swinging violently at the darkness. “Give her back!” Chris tried to use his tentacle to hold her back, but recoiled when she tried to chop at it too.

     “She’s gone!” Kelly shouted, attempting to beat back as many as she could. “We need to keep moving!”

     “No! She’s there!” Aria babbled, her speech starting to deteriorate as she grew manic in her attempts to get Rose back. “I need…She has…Alive…Can’t…” The darkness had started to part for her and she stepped forward, into where Rose had vanished.

     “Don’t!” Chris called out. “It’s baiting you!” His attempt to stop her was only met with mumblings of Rose as she ignored him and continued to make her way into the void. Once she had stepped in fully, the darkness surrounded her and she was wiped away.

     “Come on!” Stephen shouted. “Just have to push through a little more!”

     With no time to mourn, the group pushed forward, swinging at the darkness that surrounded them. After what seemed like hours, the hall started to open up, and the lobby became visible. Quickly, the void retracted and standing in the center of the lobby, flanked by the elevators, stood Briana, Kim, and the two women fans that they had seen them with earlier.

      “Hello boys,” Briana drawled, grinning. She flicked her wrist and a flaming whip emerged from behind her, the fire flickering in the reflection of her pitch black eyes. Kim practically cackled next to her and the two fans, a ginger and a brunette, dropped to all fours and growled.

     “Asmodeus,” Chris recalled, stepping through the group to the front. “You’re not welcome here.”

     “As if you are?” Briana sneered. “You don’t even belong to this universe.”

     “That may be so,” Chris agreed. “But I have no qualms protecting it.”

      “Listen,” Briana twirled her whip. “You give us the meat suits, and we’ll make an effort to not destroy the  _ entire _ earth.”

      “We won’t allow it,” Billy brought his sword down in front of him. The other Swaingels flanked him and Chris, swords at the ready.

       “Angels,” Kim hissed, licking her lips.

     Briana rolled her eyes. “Quiet, Berith. We can handle a couple canaries.” She raised her hand and snapped her fingers. “Baal…Drag them out.”

      The brunette fan bounded forward, snarling and biting as she came towards the group. Chris and the Swaingels readied themselves for the attack as the group of civilians looked on in horror. Baal lunged over Borja, his sword barely grazing her chest as he attempted to swing at her. She landed in front of Rob and Jen, who had since set Lance down and sent him to the back of the group with Patty. Jen raised her glowing hammer and stepped in front of Rob.

      “Gonna have to come through me, hell bitch,” Jen declared, pushing Rob back to give space between them and the demon.

      The demon let out a salacious laugh. “I don’t think that will be a problem.” She rose to her feet and reached out her hand, producing a ball of flame. Baal reared her arm back and started to throw the ball when Stephen stepped forward and blocked the attack with his sword.

      “Uh, thanks,” Jen said, looking up at the angel.

      Stephen smiled and shrugged. “I like your snaps.” He turned back to the demon. “Let’s take her out. I’ll—Jen! No!”

      Jen rushed forward toward Baal, ignoring Stephen. She wielded her hammer above her head, ready to bring it crashing down on the demon’s head as soon as she was close. Baal grinned malevolently and ducked. She stuck out her hand as Jen ran past her, impaling Jen in the stomach with her razor sharp nails. Baal’s fingertips stuck out of Jen’s back once she stilled and Baal wiggled them to make Jen drop the hammer. It fell to the ground with a clatter and Baal shoved Jen off of her hand. Billy came over to cover Rob as Stephen rushed to turn Jen over and knelt down.

      “Heal me, dumbass,” Jen coughed weakly.

      “I can’t,” Stephen shook his head. “I’m not that kind of angel.”

      Jen laughed and it turned into a coughing fit. “That’s a bitch.” She sighed, blood trickling out of her mouth as she lifted a weak arm and placed her hand on Stephen’s arm. “Be good, Norton.” Slowly, her eyes closed and she went limp, hand sliding to the floor.

        Stephen stood up and turned to where Billy was trying his best to protect Rob. Billy backed off as Stephen stepped in, eyes glowing blue with fury. He slashed at Baal relentlessly and the demon started to back up, her counters starting to weaken. With one accurate swing, Stephen bisected the demon diagonally, causing the two smoking halves of the girl falling to the ground. Once they hit the floor, Stephen sank to one knee, panting, trying to recover from the burst of energy.

      “Aww,” Briana wiped a phantom tear from her eye. “I love a good fight born of revenge. Mainly because someone’s gotta die first.” She whistled out of the side of her mouth. “You’re up, Belial.”

       The redheaded fan rose to her feet and stepped calculatingly toward the group, unlike Baal, who had chosen to rush them. Once Belial was close enough to be uncomfortable, Chris shot out a tentacle and wrapped it around her forearm to tug her to her feet. The force barely destabilized her and she lifted her arm up before producing a green, luminescent blade, slicing it through Chris’s appendage. Chris let out an otherworldly sound and recoiled, cradling his amputated limb.

      “What was that?” Matt asked, pulling Chris down to a seated position on the floor.

       Chris winced. “They’ve done their homework and found out where I’m from. No weapon from this dimension can harm me, but something from mine has serious potential.”

       Matt looked around for anything he could possibly do to help Chris. “Will you still be able to fight?”

      “I have dozens of other limbs like this,” Chris rolled his eyes. “I’ll be fine, but I need a moment to get over the pain and shock. I haven’t been injured in several millennia.”

      “Good to hear,” Matt nodded, standing back up. “We can do this, guys,”

       “Digging the pep talk, meat suit,” Belial sneered, producing another of the same blade and twirling them in her hands.

      Borja rushed forward and started to swing at her, putting all his might behind each slash. Belial blocked them with the small swords effortlessly, but had trouble finding an opening to attack. Billy quickly joined in on the fight, attempting to distract the demon enough so that Borja could make a move. It was somewhat working, but it was quickly turning into a stalemate.

     Susan took a deep breath and raised the mace that she had taken for herself before starting to step forward. Patty grabbed her shoulder to stop her and turned her back around.

     “What are you doing?” They asked, concerned.

     “I have to help,” Susan replied, solemnly.

      “Uh,” Patty looked over at the fight. “I’d say they got the lightsaber battle handled.”

      Susan looked Patty in the eyes and sighed. “I’m not doing any good just sitting here, waiting for this all to blow over. I was put here at this place at this time and given a weapon. I can make a difference here, and maybe that’s my purpose. All this waiting around and existing has come down to this moment. I just know it.”

     Patty bit their lip. “You’re sure?”

     “More than I’ve ever been about anything,” Susan confirmed.

      Patty wrapped their arms around Susan and squeezed her tight. “This is ruining all of my Swilliam headcanons.”

      A small chuckle came out of Susan. “You’ll have to write a fix-it.” She gave Patty a nudge and pushed them away. “Take care of yourself and Eden.”

      Patty nodded. “I will. Love you.”

     Susan flashed a quick smile, then ran toward the fight, mace at the ready. She yelled, grabbing Belial’s attention and swung her mace down. Belial quickly blocked it with one blade, then used the other blade to slit Susan’s throat in a flash. Blood spewed out of the gash in Susan’s neck and covered the demon, who grinned and licked it from her lips. As Susan’s body fell to the ground, Billy and Borja took advantage of the opening and sliced through Belial from both sides. The demon fell to the floor in three sections and as she dropped, her blades lost their green glow.

     Briana frowned at the sight before her. “Okay, I’m getting a little impatient now.” She held out a hand toward Billy and Kim mirrored the action toward Borja, causing them both to seize up and drop their weapons. “Give us the damn vessels and we’ll be on our merry way. No one else has to die…at this moment anyway. You all are probably gonna die in the apocalypse regardless.”

     Chris winced, attempting to rise to his feet. “You know we can’t just do that.”

     “We’re sworn to protect them,” Stephen gritted out, slowly standing.

      “And you are doing a bang up job, let me tell ya,” Briana scoffed. “An entire roomful of people were mowed down when I opened that portal. How many have you got left? Five and a little boy? Please.”

      Rich frowned. “We’ll never just give up. This fight isn't close to done.”

      Briana and Kim threw Billy and Borja to the ground. “Come on, Berith,” Briana sighed. “Let’s finish this.” They stepped forward but a blinding light came from the back of the group. Everyone turned to look and saw Lance floating upwards, eyes emitting a bright white light. He levitated forward, above the heads of everyone and landed softly in front of Briana and Kim.

      “You are finished here,” Lance announced. “Leave or I will be forced to destroy you.”

     “Excuse me?” Briana raised an eyebrow.

     Lance held out a hand and focused it on Kim. Light beamed out of it and Kim screamed in agony as her body disintegrated on contact.

     “I will not ask again,” Lance threatened.

      Briana looked visibly shaken. “Alright. I got the picture. I’m gone, but I’m taking her with me.” She smirked and knelt to the ground, placing her hand flat on it. A portal opened up underneath her and she fell through. It closed up quickly behind her and as soon as she had gone, the lights started to flicker back to life.

     Lance turned and smiled. “I apologize for this happening.”

     “Uh,” Matt blinked rapidly. “Who are you?”

      Lance winked. “You know.” He closed his eyes and the light left him, causing Lance to collapse.

       Rich and Patty rushed forward and Patty cradled him. “Lance! You okay?”

      Lance groaned and his eyes started to blink open. “Yeah, I think so. What happened?”

     “Who was that?” Rob asked Stephen.

     “Him,” Stephen smiled. “You know. The big guy.”

     Scout rubbed her face and groaned. “Great. I have so much to re-write.”

**Author's Note:**

> Also, the Swaingels are a concept I borrowed from Scout aka @consultingcannibal <3
> 
> Come bother me on  
> Tumblr: @archangelsanonymous  
> Twitter: @pattypixie


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